love died in the regency era

 Important note: I am basing this entire post off of the writings of Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, Charles Dickens & wonderfully flowered and powdered films. Probably frightfully unrealistic, but I would like to think that the real Regency era was at least a silhouette of these beautiful concepts. 

  I am not a classically romantic person. However; when I watch regency era films, or read those soft paged novels, I feel a side of me that so usually hides in the shade, come out into the light. Suddenly, I want to know a good man that I am interested in, and experience the kind of peculiar adventure romance brings. Why? Because the regency era translated human relation and love into action.

 I remember the first Jane Austen film I ever watched. Emma (1996). Not only was I struck by their fascinating way of life, but their fascinating approach to love. Love was taken seriously and was cherished. Conversations between two people who were interested in each other were thoughtful, almost artful. Women were ladies and men were gentlemen. There was just so much... class. 



Writing letters

 No one writes letters anymore. We use the mail to pay bills and receive packages. Why did we ever stop writing to each other? To see a person's handwriting, to see how hard they pressed their pen into the paper and to hold the folded paper in your hands is worth so much more than a text message. Take into consideration, Captain Wentworth's letter to Anne in Persuasion.

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart, even more, your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in 

F.W.

 I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never. 

Social media, emails and text messages can no more replace handwritten letters than a public pool can replace a foaming, roaring beach.

Dancing

No, not loose jumping and moving at the cluuuuub. Dancing together, with other people, and using it to relate to them and laugh with them.

 While I don't have anything against modern dancing, I think we left something behind that is valuable. We could keep hip-hop AND hold dances of the regency kind. Although, now that I think of it, it would be kind of weird if you were spending time with your friends and then you all got up in the middle of the living room to start synchronized dancing...

Conversations



 Have you ever been three minutes into a conversation and realized that you haven't been paying attention at all? Yeah, me too.

 Modern conversations consist of:

First person: "Whatttt's upppp?"
Second person: *complains about privileged life*
First person: *ignores other person to complain about their own life* "I, like, hate everythingggg."

 Honestly, I don't even know why we talk to each other at all nowadays. Conversation should be for the purpose of getting to know the other person, working through problems or, I don't know, something other than complaining or making yourself look better.











Courting

There is an entire book to be written on why modern dating makes 0.0000000000000 % sense to me.  But, alas, I have neither the desire or the wordcount space to write it. Instead of focusing on the negative, let's direct our attention to some positive factors of relationships in the regency era.

1. Having romantic feelings for another person wasn't a joke. It was serious and not to be taken lightly. Playing with another's feelings, even if you didn't do any "real" harm, was enough to darken your reputation. (unless you were as good-looking and charmingly manipulative as Frank Churchill.)

2. There were soooooo many opportunities to get to know the person you are interested in. Social interactions were the priority back then. (Which could truthfully get very tiresome.) Dancing, walking, talking, writing, meeting at gatherings and parties. A lot more than just conversing online and awkwardly standing near each other in public.

3. Men made an effort. I am not harkening to 'chivalry is dead and men don't hold doors open for women anymore', but rather men's attitudes towards the women they were interested in. They put in direct and intentional effort and it is so attractive in comparison to the aloof and lackluster style of attraction today. Modern men ( and women too, I've seen you vixens do this) seem to make you feel like you are temporary and there are a dozen other women they can replace you with if it goes south.

 The proposals

 I confess, I have never been proposed to. SO, this is highly theoretical. But, when I see people who are newly engaged, I can't help but think to myself,

"what must he have said to get her to marry him?"

 Was it gentle and awkward like Edward's to Elinor? or frank and passionate like Darcy's to Elizabeth?

 This question comes to my mind, not because I think the female is in any way superior to the male, in either looks, integrity or intelligence. I just genuinely wonder if it was a profession as passionate as the fictional proposals of Austen's novels. Because, however impractical it is, that's what I require.

Though there are many unrealistic things in the world of fiction, the expectation of true love is worth every let down in reality.

M.