i'm so tired of words. always words, words, words spinning in my head. failing to translate my pain to poetry. how useless language has become to me. i crave action. not description. when i feel utterly happy i wish to laugh and laugh until i cry. and when i am pensive i should like to remain silent and study figures and nature. if i desire to learn something new, let me sit and study and think. when i am angry i beg to roar and punch and scream and claw. to e x p r e s s. to feel honestly and not to manipulate or lie or filter my psyche. i beg to be me.