hi. so before I disappeared for months like I often do, I made a blog tag, and people did it and it made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. thank you to all who participated! I truly enjoyed reading everyone's answers they were all so funnnnny. here's a round up of everyone's posts that I could find if you'd like to read them!
if you filled it out and you're not on this list please comment with a link to the tag I really want to read it!
hello there, reader. I feel as though I need to introduce myself formally it has been so very long since I last posted. I'm Nie. I've been changing a lot. I did this last year too. took a very long hiatus and returned with fervor only to fizzle out again. like a flame that was too hungry, too quick to show how bright it could burn and in doing so ate up all the oxygen and poof.
truth be told, I have been avoiding my blog for some months now. not because I dislike it. in fact I like it very much. it is very dear to me. not because I am bored of blogging or the blogging community. I hope bloggers continue to write and keep this part of the internet alive. I love to settle in with some tea or coffee and read through my blogroll.
no, I have been avoiding my blog because I have been avoiding facing the truth of what has been going on inside of me.
from Nie has seen many versions of me. and I don't believe in streamlining myself to make a product of my blog. in cornering myself into this perfect little package of catchy writing for the internet to marvel at.
but this blog has been with me through my wildest ups and downs. throughout my lefts and rights. 2020 and 2021 were the most challenging years I've ever lived through. the tale of that time period is a dark and long one. it is one that upsets me even to think about. and it is when I was coming out of that dark time, just arriving back from that terrible journey, that I started blogging on here more. it was something that helped nurture me back to health, lead me closer to who I am after I had forgotten myself. that is a wonderful thing but it also means that this blog reminds me of my darkest days.
does that mean I should move on? begin another blog that is free from those heavy clouds? I'm not sure. starting something new doesn't always solve things.
have I truly outgrown from Nie? or do I just want to believe that I can forget pain and that I can be fully separate from that version of me who was in so much of it?
I don't know, reader. I just don't know. so, until I do, hello there. I may be writing a goodbye soon. but it will not end there. it will only lead to another platform. one that does not feel as though it is mocking my every word or testing my claims of progress. or, perhaps I will simply accept that this blog has many layers of me in it. and embrace the changes and the metamorphosis it has gone through. we shall see. but for now, I missed this. and that is one thing I am sure of.
-from Nie
yes, I have created a blog tag. honestea is my debut tag and might I say, tag making is surprisingly hard to do. so, well done all you seasoned taggers. this is an exposé tag, an open book tag, a tag filled with hones-TEA(forgive my gen-z terminology but it is just too perfect not to use) and is best suited for bloggers, writers, and story lovers who aren't afraid to spill a cuppa.
THE RULES
no lies allowed. if an answer is too shameful to expose you may substitute the answer with a gif/image of someone drinking tea.
e. g. →
there are optional bonus additions to questions but these are not for the faint of heart. if you complete the tag having answered every question + the bonus additions (no gifs used), you are dubbed a certified tea chugger, and you deserve a badge to show the world that you are not afraid of a steaming hot cup of TRUTH. tag at least one other person (a tea party with just one is not very fun. trust me.) untagged persons are more than welcome to fill it out as well (nothing cooler than crashing a tea party).
THE BADGE
THE QUESTIONS
what is a 'bad' (generally disliked) movie that you actually love?
what is your most shocking reading habit?
tell us the number one lie you write in your posts.
tell us the worst character name you've ever thought up. {bonus: share a character name you find ridiculous in a book/movie}
what is the real reason you procrastinate writing your work in progress?
what is a genre of music you secretly love?
if you're a plotter, what do you really think of pansters? and if you're a panster, what do you really think of plotters?
share at least three lines of dialogue from one of your first writing projects {bonus: give us the good stuff. your most gruesome butchering of the English language)
tell us the title & artist of the last song you listened to.
which beloved book/movie character do you dislike & why?
tell us the title & topic of a post you have left in draft.
what is a book you pretend you've read/would like to read but know you never will? {bonus: share a time when claiming you've read a classic/well known book didn't end well}
tell us the title & topic of the most embarrassing post you've ever written. {bonus: include. the. link.}
I TAG...
Skye - Ink Calamities, Elizabeth - Autumn Ink, Brooke - everglow, N'Rae - N'Rae Bends, and YOU who are reading this.
MY ANSWERS (+ introductory gif defining my current state of apprehension. doesn't count.)
what is a 'bad' (generally disliked) movie that you actually love?
Inkheart. I wouldn't say it is disliked by all, just by those who have read the book. it is not a great representation of the book or a super well produced film, but I just absolutely love it.
what is your most shocking reading habit?
I would say eating while reading and getting food on the pages of the book. I'm going to gag just thinking about it. I'm thoroughly ashamed.
tell us the number one lie you write in your posts.
any time I say I'm "writing" something. I'm not. I'm thinking up scenes while listening to epic music. but I'm not actually writing.
tell us the worst character name you've ever thought up. {bonus: share a character name you find ridiculous in a book/movie}
malaria. as in the disease. the actual illness. however I thought that it was a name and that it was pronounced mal-uh-REE-uh, and that it was quite pretty.
bonus: I really hate the villain guy's name in Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge. Ignifex? that sounds like toilet bowl cleaner.
what is the real reason you procrastinate writing your work in progress?
I struggle to write about my characters doing wonderful amazing things while I sit at a desk. the number one reason I don't write often anymore or procrastinate when I do want to write is because I want to experience adventure, not write about it.
what is a genre of music you secretly love?
I love Irish folk music. celtic thunder and celtic woman are my JAM. also, Barbie soundtracks. It isn’t difficult to share that on here but I recently had a conversation with a coworker about music and that reminded me that first, people don’t know what Irish folk is and second, people think if you like anything other than Kanye you’re in a cult.
if you're a plotter, what do you really think of pansters? and if you're a panster, what do you really think of plotters?
I always thought I was a plotter. Then, I tried to finish nanowrimo with a completed plot and found myself stifled and staring at a blank screen. when I thought of a random scene chapters into the story, I could write and write with such detail and life BUT I couldn’t find a way to connect those beautiful scenes at allll. so I guess what I'm saying is I'm an in-betweenie. and both sides have their value. but pansting a whole novel? pfffft weird.
share at least three lines of dialogue from one of your first writing projects {bonus: give us the good stuff. your most gruesome butchering of the English language)
for the sake of the bonus addition, I won't be fixing any spelling or grammar mistakes in these and I will give you more than one.tell us the title & artist of the last song you listened to.
wow. this one almost made me use a gif. I reallllllly want to use a gif. don't think of me differently, readers. the last song I listened to was Chained to The Rythm by Katy Perry. I'm so sorry.
which beloved book/movie character do you dislike & why?
after book 3, I hate Ronald Weasley. he's whiny and selfish and he consistently mistreats his friends. I also despise the 10th doctor. he's arrogant and he does. not. care. about his companions. also what he did to Rose was treason.
tell us the title & topic of a post you have left in draft.
the first has no title, only one sentence in the body that says, "strange thought: the moon's beard is the forest and the mountains his cap." the second, is exclusively filled with The Lord of The Rings memes and is titled, "because I cannot stop laughing at these". I don't know when exactly I'll post either of those, but keep your eyes peeled.
what is a book you pretend you've read/would like to read but know you never will? {bonus: share a time when claiming you've read a classic/well known book didn't end well}
I wish I had already read the more recent-ish classics like 1984, Fahrenheit 451, or Animal Farm, etc. so sometimessss I nod and smile when those books come up and don't specify that I haven't read them. does that count?
however, to the bonus question I say,
tell us the title & topic of the most embarrassing post you've ever written. {bonus: include. the. link.}
probably the entire series of About the Author August because I never managed to post on time and I literally never finished the series. embarrassing. especially because the first post in that series is my most read post so now five people the whole world knows I’m a flighty flaky blogger. here's the link to the last post where I say I'm going to post again and then never do :)
I physically cringed a lot filling this out. I think that means it was successful? I did not earn certified tea chugger. what a shame. don't be surprised if you see the badge in my sidebar regardless. Let me know what you think of the tag & whether or not you are willing to take on the challenge!
-from Nie
matcha & udon soup
budgeting
this is my budget calendar, washi tape, and stickers. I am working on more budgeting posts at the moment but it is a slow process and I find everything abnormally hard to explain. budgeting has brought me peace of mind I didn't think I could have and also a huge amount of confidence.
yoga journal & ayurveda
my grandmother used to get yoga journal for me. I would try to follow the advanced poses without prior experience or stretching and injure myself. it was a lot of fun. I bought this one for the article on chakras, however. I want to learn everything there is to know about chakras, and ayurveda, and how the mind and the body and the spirit are intertwined.
pop up butterfly stickers
not much to say about these except they make my laptop look positively mAGiCaL.
star stable
do you see yourself on m o t h e r earth
walking
working
talking?
I don’t. I only see myself in
shadows, smile lines, through rain clouds and music notes
without help
I don’t
exist
there is a c u r s e that is put upon a few of us. at least that is what I call it. its sullen name is
s e n s i t i v i t y
and it is chronic. perhaps even terminal.
I spend most of my days trying to be rid of it. escape. but not this day. this day I embrace. and I ponder. what if I am not a creature.
your needs are their second thoughts. a deep conversation you desperately need to feel c o n n e c t e d is just another insignificant moment of communication to them. because they don't think like you do.
how sick I am of telling myself that.
t h e y d o n ' t t h i n k l i k e y o u d o.
you are called passive aggressive, over dramatic, too emotional when you o p e n u p. but when you so perfectly care for and translate and cradle your loved one's emotions you are called wonderful, loving, an otherworldly listener.
s o,
it is only good when it is not yours.
your sensitivities are not valued yet art that people praise and marvel at is born from those same uncared for sensitivities.
s o,
it is only loved when it is not a burden.
finding someone who lets you work through the steps of your emotions without judging you or pressuring you is rare and more often than not anyone who understands is someone like you
which leads me to wonder
how difficult is it to extend the courtesy of understanding beyond themselves to you?
because
I feel like that is all I do.
I often understand what someone is feeling before they do, yet even with an explanation of why I am feeling what I feel I am still told that
it
is
gnorw | wrong
which prompts me to ask them
does it really matter if I am not supposed to feel what I am feeling? if it is not supposed to rain it does not change the fact that it is still p o u r i n g down.
but I do not ask. I never do.
because what is the use? i f t h e y c a n n o t s e e t h e r a i n a t a l l & t h e r e a r e f e w w h o w i l l t a k e y o u r w o r d f o r i t
