farewell to the year of growing pains. of recognizing my face again. of small adventures and big mistakes. of "never-before-done"s and "I will never do that again"s. of spiritual firsts, and worldly lasts. nighttime conversations with Jesus, and daytime surrender of control. of graduations, engagements, and last goodbyes. farewell to the gift that was two-thousand twenty-four.
so many years I let slip between my fingers. streams of precious silvery water I let seep into the soil. this year was not perfect, nor did I always make myself proud. but this year, this year, I lived more than I have in the last four combined. this year, I remembered who the author of my life is. I remembered that through Him all things are possible. this year, He reminded me that I am strong. I am capable. I am loved.
what a gift it is to have lived another year! I may be older. and in many ways it is hard to continue moving forward when there are so many things I wish had gone differently. so many things I wish I could change. but I can either run from the past or learn from it. I refuse to let past sorrows dim the light of my future. I believe with my whole soul that Jesus takes the worst of us all and he weaves it into something pure and beautiful and hopeful. Jesus remakes my mistakes into triumphs. he takes the wrongdoings and sorrows I have experienced and uses them to teach me how to be the best version of myself.
I don't know what my future holds, but I know that I have the God of the universe on my side. that I need not worry about anything. that I can trust Him with my whole life and soul. and that I will be overflowing with joy as long as I let him have my everything. so, though where the road will take me I cannot tell, I will lose no sleep over it. I will smile in the face of uncertainty and see it for what it is with God - adventure.
the best things about this year...
my engagement to my love
my little sister's graduation
small adventures with my sisters
watching my older sister finish a 5k
watching my love finish a turkey trot
buying Christmas presents for my loved ones
finding new blogs to read and people who still write
finding my sense of style
modeling for a local boutique
adding to my disney fairies book collection
spending precious time with our pets
crushing things I believed I couldn't do
accomplishing two semesters of school
learning to stand up for myself more
learning to lean on Jesus and to trust Him more deeply than I ever thought I would be able to
recognizing myself and the value in me instead of trying to mirror others
improving my discernment
working on my spiritual health
improving my physical health by working out and eating better
learning how to draw boundaries
laughing so hard I cry with my love and my sisters
letting go of ideals that weren't based on Jesus's word
spending special time with my sisters individually
eating foods from my childhood/teen years again
allowing myself to dream anything and everything again
feeling accepted and heard and understood by my love
seeing the growth in my sisters
swimming in the summertime
visiting the Christmas village in the wintertime
dreaming about and planning for my life with my love
all of the ways I was provided for by my loved ones and by God
- from Nie