Wednesday, February 12, 2025

in awe of it all


























listen

tonight, I'm in awe of it all. of all that God has done in my little life. 

have you ever gotten a glimpse of it? that moment where the human limitations of your mind recede, and the glory of God at work shows all around you like the ghosts of neon streaks against black skies? for a moment, you understand why you went through valleys so deep and dark you believed you would never know the warmth of light on your skin again. for a moment, you are face to face with yourself. and you see how she needed to grow into you

God sends these whispered moments to me. like a lighthouse on the ocean, its glow lasts only for a second, but it stirs in me an unbridled hope. a passion and joy bursts in my chest. as if I can feel Jesus reaching into my heart, and relighting the candle of perseverance in me. he keeps it burning. if ever it goes out, I'm shepherded back with an electrifying call from Him. with something akin to magic or dreams or prophecy. I don't know what it is but the communication of my soul and Jesus. a message sent to me that needs no words and knows no bounds. when suddenly I have a sixth sense. a spiritual sense of all that is happening around us that we cannot see. all the ways God lifts me up on his shoulders. I feel how deeply He believes in me. how deeply He loves me. I know that I am limitless with Him. 

and then - it's gone. like a warm embrace that leaves a shadow of pressure on my skin, it's gone, but the rejuvenation it brought to my soul remains. like water dousing hungry petals, my soul is fortified. I wish every spirit on earth could feel the wild, limitless joy He gives to me. 

I wish I listened to it more, and held it closer to my heart. this year, I will not forget God's might. I will not fear what may come. I will remember that I am limitless with Jesus. I am loved beyond all comprehension. I am valued more than precious jewels. I am purer than crystal oceans. I am stronger than mountain stones. and tonight, I am in awe of it all .

- from Nie

Friday, January 10, 2025

i feed it the ugly little things


at first;

i don't think they understand

the gravity when i say to them

'i can't manage 

one good day'

when i say to them over coffee

'i'm spinning so fast i can't

see'


at first;

i don't think they understand

the weight of the words 

that fall from my mouth after 

they ask

'and how are you?'


but then;

the words i use are tart

nasty dark things to say

'not so good' 

or even 'i don't know'

isn't welcome in bookshops

on the way into the classroom

or even in the churches


the gravity

the weight

the words stir something up 

inside of them

burn their tongues

set their minds ablaze


they dash the spark out of me

afraid it will catch

but i keep it going

feed it 

with truth and the ugly little things

because 

i'm more afraid of the dark

i guess this is how it feels

to be told 

'i really don't understand'

- from Nie