"september came in with golden days and silver nights" - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Return of The King
summer is saying goodbye to us now. closing its petals, twisting them up around the warmth, the fireflies, the citrus sunsets, and the salty air. the nights are getting colder where I live, and the bugs are racing into my house through cracks and crannies, making camp for the crisp fall and winter. I wish I could make camp and hide from the world for a bit. spin a web and rest, rest, rest. but, alas, life goes on, and I must go on with it.
I made it through midterms. making the decision to return to college was very difficult. I prayed and waited for a while until I felt that God wanted me to start school again. it's easy to commit to something at the beginning. it's hard to keep fighting for it. I feel my steam running out as we reach the end of week five. I find myself thinking, 'can I really do this over and over and over again?'. but, I have to remind myself of one very important truth. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. I have to remember to continue to look to Him and not my own capabilities. I am weak but He is strong. He can take my dreams and give them wings. but I have to give them away to Him first. so, that is what I am trying to do on this late summer night.
my sisters and I watched Sense and Sensibility (2008) last night. it is my favorite Jane Austen story. after watching it, I browsed realty sites in Ireland and England to see how much a romantic little cottage like Barton Cottage is. just in case my love and I decide it's time for an adventure in another country. they were quite expensive. but so, so charming. there really is nothing like a home. a home is worth more than gold. I have been daydreaming about my future home. how I will arrange the furniture, what foods I will make in our kitchen, where it will be, how the sun will fall into the windows and across bookshelves. in fact, I have an exact home in my mind that I have seen as my future home for almost 9 years now. I know every room and floorboard. it's so vivid. my secret hope is that when my love and I finally start looking for a house, we will walk into one that looks exactly like that little house in my mind and I'll know that's where we're supposed to be.
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| me drinking tea in my imaginary future home |
I discovered Half Baked Harvest recently. I can't stop scrolling through her site, her recipes look so delicious and have unique flavor combinations. I bought her cook book 'super simple' and already have so many different recipes I want to make. these sliders for when I go to my love's parent's house to watch football, chai cinnamon rolls for that one day a year I crave something sweet, this delicious cheese & croissant bake for a chilly Sunday morning, and this lemon broccoli salad because broccoli is one of my favorite foods.
though I am anxious for the changing seasons, and the second 8 weeks of the fall semester, I know my God is with me. and every day that I can, I will choose to believe that my future is blooming, blazing, bright because it is made by Him. so, with that in mind, I can't wait for tomorrow.
- from Nie
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