journal no. 1: the road goes ever on and on

the melody

 I had a dream last night. Well, it was like a dream. I saw myself walking down the trail of grass we have behind our house. I was so distressed, and was crying so hard that I stumbled more than walked. At the beginning of the path was snow. But the further I walked the more springlike it became. God was watching me in my pain and he knew how much it hurt me. How badly I wanted to escape my turmoil. So he took my pain away. I left the path and stood in the field. My feet became the roots of a tree and slowly I turned to wood. My arms were branches, white almond blossoms blooming from my fingertips. Just before my body became a fully twisted tree, I looked up at the moon, which was fading because of the sun rising. My final tears rushed from my eyes and I felt at peace. My pain stopped and I danced with nature in the soft sunlight.




  That dream terrified me. I have always believed that I would rather feel pain than nothing at all. I feel as though I am weakening the longer I struggle. But I must remain strong. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the decision that something else is more important.

The road goes ever on and on.

M.

A Pretty Chaos

The moth beats its heavy wings,
struggling to the light,
the promise of pretty things,
and deliverance from the night.

The rain frees from clouds,
rippling through the air,
longing to kiss the grounds,
and shimmer in people's hair.

The flower reaches high,
curling beneath the sun,
rich heat-soaked petals cry,
at last, my growth is done.

It's all a pretty chaos,
time and night and day,
a bittersweet song sung to us,
before the final decay.

M.

From... Caitlin Van Horn

Will Scarlet: The Medieval Homeschooler

  My sisters and I have been watching Robin Hood BBC. I remember watching this series live with my family. I was UNBELIEVABLY excited to see the next episode. I wanted to be as strong as Marian and as passionate as Robin. It is without a doubt my favorite television series.

 Side note: the third season never happened. It doesn't exist. Third season? What third season? 

 While I feel deeply connected to this series, I am even MORE connected to Will Scarlet. Because he is without a doubt, a medieval homeschooler. Just look at him. 

His pants are too short for his lanky frame. Only a homeschooler wears a cape like that. I bet you his clothes are a mixture of hand-me-downs and rummage sale finds.

 Everyone looks to the homeschooler for approval. They trust our instincts and morals. They're "homegrown"

Such sass. Will Scarlet the medieval homeschooler tells it like it is. Homeschoolers are strictly no-nonsense. 

 Will spends time honing his talents. On a Friday night, you won't find him at the tavern. He'll be carving like the crafty craftsman he is. 

Such grace. Those ballroom dance lessons really paid off. 

Of course, they hand the baby to the homeschooler. Having thirty-six siblings means we know about such things.

 So, when you're feeling down because no one else remembers all 207 episodes of Little House on The Prairie or understands the excitement of finishing school and already being home, Will Scarlet is there.