winter season favorites

 every season brings a new perspective. new habits. new challenges. new animals, bugs, and plants. these are my winter season favorites so far. what are yours? 

tea tree + peppermint aromatherapy lotion

this stuff is like a perfume. the bottle is so pretty and the scent lasts all day. I feel very fancy when I put it on, like lady Mary Crawley getting ready for the Christmas ball. 

lavender & honey lip butter

the only lip balm that has ever actually moisturized my lips. the lavender is a bonus, a love lavender.  

sunscreen stick

I've been meaning to use sunscreen daily for a while. by a while I mean years. but they are all sticky and they smell like public pools. this little product, however, smells like bananas and adds and extra layer of moisture to my face. I've been using it every day. 

coconut pineapple zoa

this drink gives me life. vitamin packed. zero sugar. I really shouldn't love it like I do. 

snowboarding (in my mind)

how can I crave to do something I've never done? I'm not sure but lately I have wanted to snowboard so badly. I have only been on a skateboard a few times and have barely done anything in the snow besides cry and shiver. but something tells me I would love sliding down crystal hills. I imagine it would feel akin to flying though I've never done that either. 

crown lake

Is this a drama filled poorly produced web series for preteens? yes. do I love it and find every episode fascinating? also yes. I have such an admiration for creative young series like Free Rein or Saddle Club back in the day. 

caruso

this song is so haunting and heavy yet beautiful. I wish I could sing like Lara. 

dear modern me

 "We tend to shy away from mourning and dancing. Too afraid to cry, too shy to dance. We become narrow-minded complainers, avoiding pain and also true human joy. While we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. Let us mourn, and let us dance."

this is where I put the things I dig out of my heart. I blog here because I have grown tired of being directed here and there. told what to think, what to feel, where to look, what to care about, who to support, how the world works. for my world is not run by the everyday people, by money, or by politics. 

but by God. 

                         by art. 

                                        by emotions. 

                                                                by hope. 

                                                                                         by belief. 

aren't you tired of other people's perspectives and morals and illusions clouding around you like second-hand smoke? I am. 

I want to to get back to me. back home. back where I was before the world picked me up and shook me so fiercely, changed my name. when did everything churn into something I do not recognize? where did the honesty go? what is weird about daydreaming at 24 years old or gushing about the beauty of the world? who are these people I walk side by side with? 

I miss my childhood days. and not because of the trials of adulthood. but because I was solely, so entirely me. It is so easy to get lost in the winding ways of this world. if you do not remind yourself of who you are, someone else will tell you. 

becoming is an art. a long lost art. and values are becoming archaic. and differences are washed away in a vicious movement of forced acceptance and similarity. I just want to be me and be who God wants me to be. I do not want to follow this world's agenda. other people's paths. other people's ideas and thoughts. they are contagious and they lead me away from my purpose. what is success if it is an imitation? what is progress if it is in the wrong direction? when did not being unapologetically me become an option?

-from Nie 

the power of the dog

 
a fascinating film. there were several points where my stomach hurt from the flavor of brutality buried under the surface of every scene. it was unexpected. beautiful. and fresh. 

Benedict somehow created a man who you both fear and are fascinated by. and who is so human. I'm not interested in the all black villains who lack all human nature. I'd rather see the question of "what would happen if an ordinary person experienced blank, or encouraged blank, or felt blank"? interpreted. 

the soundtrack was stunning. pulsing. flowing. slightly off at some points to make you feel unsettled but never obviously meant to scare. the subtlety of it all was perhaps the most impressive part of the entire film. it's easy to yell the story. it's hard to speak volumes in a whisper. 

they apparently shot the film in New Zealand so I am not at all shocked that I found the landscape so utterly beautiful. my favorite line was when Phil, looking at the mountains, was asked by his ranchers what it is he sees out there. “There’s something out there isn’t there?” they asked. he replied "not if you can't see it, there ain't". 

-from Nie

such deep feelings

listen 

there is something about black & white films. this feeling of seriousness. of simplicity. like the movie is leaning in close and whispering to you. 

this clip is one of the most beautifully acted scenes i've ever seen. 

do not watch this movie unless you are prepared to snot. 

these things have been floating around in my mind lately. i suppose you would call it an aesthetic. but somehow that doesn’t seem right. it isn’t an attraction to the colors black and white that makes me write this post. or a desire to rewatch old films that feel old and are old and thus are “interesting”. it is because these things make me feel something that i’m driven to write about them. 

lately i’ve been experiencing such deep feelings. they are difficult to describe but very easy to feel. the only way to interpret them is through art. music. film. poetry. looking at the night sky. for they are such deep feelings. 

- from Nie